I live with my girlfriend of three years and want to propose to her at Christmas. There is one problem – her dad hates me. He was buddies with her ex, and thought they would get married. Then he cheated on her and they split. Now her dad doesn't trust anyone with her, and even though we have been together a long time, he still makes comments about “when I leave her.” She has no trust issues, but her dad sure does.—I'm not worthy

Dear Not worthy:
Well, it should be fun asking dear ol' Dad for her hand. Hopefully he doesn't bite yours off in the process. I think you should discuss this with him man to man, if for no other reason than to show respect for the dad, as well as for your future bride. He may be missing his football buddy, but more likely he feels he was sucked in by the other guy and now has little trust for anyone who nears his princess. Now that said, in your defense it has been three years, and if you've done nothing to deserve his cold shoulder, the act needs to go. Let him know that his nasty comments undermine your efforts to give his daughter the moon and stars. If you can't talk to him, or he is just impossible, talk to her mom and let her at least know your intentions. I hope you love this lady more than life itself, because if her father doesn't change his tune, it could be a little chilly for you at family get-togethers. Write me back and let me know how the proposal went, good luck!

I've been seeing a guy for almost a year. He is really sweet and treats me well, but I have a question. He likes to write poetry and songs for me. It makes me kind of embarrassed, and my friends think it is a joke and make fun of him. Could he secretly be gay? — Conflict of interests

Dear Conflict:
Just because a guy enjoys poetry and songwriting does not make him gay. Why would it embarrass you? I think it is very sweet that he cares about and trusts you enough to show that side of himself. Tell your friends to knock it off, they are probably just jealous. Do you know how many famous musicians have sat and serenaded their ladies? I can assure you, the ladies probably weren't thinking “I wonder if he's gay?” The fact that there is this assumption when a guy shows a different side of himself could be one of the reasons it doesn't happen very often. Unless there are many, MANY other things involved that would make you think this way, change your mindset and appreciate it, rather than questioning it.

The Christmas season is coming, and already I am invited to a lot of parties. I am debating whether to attend, because most of them are being given by mutual friends of my ex-fiance, and I know he will be there with his new girlfriend. Things ended badly between us, and I don't know if I can handle seeing him with another woman because I still love him. I don't want to sit home and miss all the parties though. Any suggestions?-Christmas party conundrum

Dear Christmas party:
I guess it depends on what you want more, to avoid the ex or to get out and live your life. Much of this has to do with the state of your own self-confidence. If you feel you can handle it and act maturely, I say buy yourself a party dress and get your hair done so you look and feel amazing. Then go and have a blast! Staying home in your flannels with a tub of ice cream isn't going to hurt anyone but you.
It is a slippery slope inviting exes to the same party, and your friends should, at the very least, understand how you feel and not seat you next to either of them (in the case of dinner parties). If you have a male friend you feel comfortable with, or even a female friend, take them along as your “date.”
If you are completely uncomfortable with the idea of being at the same party, don't just pull a no-show. Explain the situation to your friends. Perhaps they could split up the invites so that you could at least get out to a few get-togethers without having to stress over whether he will be there. Good luck, and I hope you get out and enjoy the holiday season!

My sister is a acting like a true gold digger. Ever since she got burned by the love of her life, she will only date men who have money, nice cars and lots of stuff. Her ex was just an average guy, not rich, not poor, so why is she doing this? People are already starting to talk, and I'm worried she will hook up with some guy just for the money. What should I say to her?-In it for the money

Dear In it for the money:
Why not start with “what the heck are you thinking?” OK, that wasn't my most empathetic answer. You didn't say how long she and her ex have been apart, but she is probably just hurting and rebound dating, and not acting very mature about it. Perhaps she thinks that things will turn out rosier if she lands a man with money, but she will find out that may not be the case.
It is fine to have high standards, but perhaps she should focus on what traits are truly important in a mate. Money can go as fast as it comes, and it often comes with its own set of problems. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having money, just that things aren't always as good as they seem.
Maybe she is looking for a good time in order to avoid dealing with the past relationship. Maybe she thinks she can't get hurt playing the field this way. She would be wrong, by the way, and really has no business getting involved with someone until she deals with her issues from the break up.
Have a heart-to-heart with sis and try to get to the bottom of this. Let her know the image she is portraying, and the damage it is doing to her reputation. Ask why she chose this route, and what she hopes to gain from it. Tell her how concerned you are about the way she is behaving. Then be there to help pick her up when she crumbles.

My fiance’s son has for the longest time treated his mom awfully and he pretty much hates me. It seems that when his life is going peachy, no one matters, but as soon as adversity kicks in he demands attention. He was spoiled by his mom and hasn’t acknowledged her birthdays or Christmas for three years. I told him that his pregnant girlfriend was on sex dating sites and he basically told me to get stuffed, but I don’t understand why he has to treat his mom like dirt. It hurts her and I think he likes the fact that it does. We live far away from him and were thinking about returning to the area, but not now all because of him and his holier-than-thou attitude.-No respect for Mom

Dear No Respect:
You know I have to ask how you'd know that his girlfriend is on “sex dating sites,” especially since you say you live “far away from him.” That aside, Mom has to decide that she has had enough and refuse to be treated like garbage anymore. Obviously the behaviour wasn't nipped in the bud when it began, and so that is how he has learned to treat his mom.
If she spoiled him rotten and did everything for him, it is no surprise that he falls apart at the first sign of adversity. He treats Mom like a doormat until he needs her to rescue him, and if she goes and picks him up every time, he quickly learns how to manipulate her. Like I said, she needs to put her foot down, but in doing that, she may be risking what little relationship she has left with him. All you can really do in this case is be there to support her through this.