I recently finished breast cancer treatment. While going through treatment I was affected by its costs. Even though I am on disability, the costs were great and I had to research to find out where to get help. I feel more patients do not get enough help with costs, even with other funding. With all the money going to research, some of it can be going to patients who pay out of pocket for many things, like lunches, taxis and medications. Please make a fund available to help patients out with the millions raised for research. I am sure some of that money would be so life saving for people during cancer. -- FRUSTRATED WITH LACK OF FUNDING

Dear Frustrated:
I can completely understand your frustration, and I agree with you 100 per cent, which is why I am publishing your letter and jumping back on my soapbox du jour. While I know the funds are primarily allocated for research, I also wonder if a little more could not be coughed up to help patients.
The cost of uncovered medications for some types of cancer is disgusting. What is even more shocking is that from what I have read, some patients need to make the choice between treatments or keeping a roof over their heads. Last time I checked, we live in Canada, so what is the deal?
There has been some headway as far as covering certain medications (like avastin), but there is a long way to go. From personal experience, the full cost of an anti-nausea drug works out to around 13 dollars per pill, and that is cheap compared to some other medications. I am one of the lucky ones who has some drug coverage, but what about those who don't?
As for other support, I can only state what I know of in Alberta, so I encourage those in other provinces to contact their regional cancer board, or the Canadian Cancer Society. In Alberta, there is emergency funding available if need is established by referral from a doctor or social worker.
I know our major cancer centres offer services such as wig loans, personal counselling, and rides for patients, all free of charge. There is also financial aid available for travel and accommodation expenses. However, you have to apply for it.
There are also various not-for-profits as well as foundations for site-specific cancers that offer help to those in need. One such foundation, called “Haying in the 30's” (www.hayinginthe30s.org), fundraises every August, with 100 per cent of the proceeds allocated to local cancer patients in need. I know of this because I was the recipient of a monetary gift from them last year. I want to take this opportunity to thank “Haying in the 30's” from the bottom of my heart for their kindness, and the work they do to help take the burden off patients undergoing cancer treatment.
There are resources out there; you just have to look for them. Unfortunately, when you are stricken with this disease, the last thing you need is more stress in your life. One would think that would be recognized, and that a little more help would come from the “big guns,” rather than the little guys scraping it together.
Readers, if you know of aid/foundations/resources in areas other than Alberta, or even some I missed, email me and I will post them on the blog.

My sister-in-law is in an abusive marriage with an alcoholic husband – she is tired of the situation and wants to leave. The problem is, she wants to move here (a few provinces away) and has a young child. She is not sure what to do, as she isn't familiar with how the law works. She doesn't want to take her child away from the dad, but she cannot take the situation any longer. Any suggestions? – DO THE RIGHT THING

Dear Do the Right Thing:
The first thing your sister needs to do if she is worried about doing this right is to get familiar with the law. She should contact a lawyer to find out how to do this properly, to minimize her chances of winding up in a huge legal battle over their child, or even possibly abduction charges.
I would also do two more things. First, call a women's shelter in her area, and ask them what they recommend in terms of how to get out safely. I would also call the local police and let them know about the history. This way, if there is an issue when she leaves, that would perhaps speed up their response.
Enlist the help of family and friends for support and whatever resources available, such as lodging, furniture, etc. - they can make available to her. The important thing is that she removes herself and her child from the situation in a way that will both ensure their safety, and keep the law on their side.

I am a 36-year-old divorced male with no children. I have a great career, am very family-oriented, and go to the gym and spend time outdoors when I can. My problem is that I spent so much time concentrating on my career and getting settled in a new town that my social life has taken a huge spiral downward. I am finding it very hard being the 'single guy' these days, especially with another Valentine's Day on the horizon. I have taken some of your advice to past readers by doing things like volunteer work, asking family members or co-workers if they know any single women my age, and I have tried a few dating sites, but to no avail. People tell me that I’m a 'fine catch' and that Ms. Right is out there waiting for me, but honestly, I am beginning to wonder. I even tried the 'don't look for love, let it find you' mentality and maybe that is part of my problem. Your advice or thoughts from your readers would be greatly appreciated! -- LONELY IN E-TOWN

Dear Lonely:
I'm going to take one more stab at this. In the past, when I have said don't look for love, I didn't mean sit in your living room with the curtains drawn and watch re-runs of Survivor. I simply meant don't jump out in front of every seemingly available woman and shriek “are you my new wife?” People say you are a fine catch, and that may be true.
You may be the nice person, and yes, as I have said before, that may be what is holding things up. Maybe you are too nice. I know that sounds horrible, but perhaps the ones you meet are still looking for the “bad boy.” In addition, are you looking within your own age group, or significantly younger?
Here are some things for you to try out. Give them a chance before you pish-tosh them, please. I know you say you've tried some dating sites, but how about something like speed dating? There are various forms of the “eight minute date” in Edmonton. I also found coffee meetings for the 30+ crowd. They meet once a month at different coffee houses for casual conversation and good company. Check out http://coffee.meetup.com.
For the outdoorsy part of you, I found a singles travel adventures group. They travel, and go on all kinds of – well – adventures. Look up www.meetmarketadventures.com.
My last kick at the cat is a group that places singles on co-ed sports teams. You can find them at www.edmontonsportsclub.com. Best of luck to you, I hope this helps.

I'm single yet again from my own downfall. Not that it's all bad - it allowed me to see how lucky I was to have a wonderful person in my life like her. I messed it up for the last time when I went out on the town with the boys. I wasn’t thinking about anything else, just having a few while shooting the breeze. Or so I thought until the next day when I heard the news of what I done. I kissed another girl! What was I thinking? If I could only remember that part of the night. The heartache of it is that I hurt the one I thought I loved, because if I truly loved her I wouldn't be in this mess right. Now I wonder what else there is to do besides feeling ashamed. I'm trying to work on myself but it seems pointless. But hey, I cut down on the “barley soup.” -- DAR DAR

Dear Dar Dar:
Well, I'm glad to hear you've cut down on the “barley soup,” because when you can't remember the events from the previous evening, that's a huge red flag. If she dumped you because you kissed another girl when you were smashed, well, unless you have a history of alcohol blackouts, stepping out on her and the like, maybe she jumped the gun a bit. You did say you messed up for the last time, mind you, which leads me to believe this isn't the first time something like this has happened. You are a big boy and should be able to behave yourself when you are out. True, you screwed up, but you feel remorse and are making changes. As far as I can see, you are doing all the right things, as long as it's not just a whole lot of lip service to get her back.
Why not take her out for coffee and share with her what you have told me? There is only so much you can beat yourself up over it, and working on yourself is never pointless. Keep working on yourself, lay off the brewskies, and stop feeling ashamed. It is over and done. Get on with your life, whether or not it includes her.

I am a recent widow who was married to a wonderful man for over 50 years. I am totally divested and don't know how to overcome the grief and get on with my life. There are several friends and family to support me, but the loneliness and memories are so hard to cope with. I have tried going to social events, etc. but I find it very difficult to attend these functions alone. My husband and I did everything together. I spoke to a grief counsellor briefly and she assured me it would take time and that it is different for everyone. Any suggestions that would help me cope with the daily struggle of being alone and lonely. Thank you for your advice. -- LONELY WIDOW

Dear Lonely:
The grief counsellor is right - everyone deals with it in their own way, at their own pace. Some people get through the worst and find that time really does help to heal. Others stay in the depths of their despair for a very long while. Where the difference lies is how a person copes during this time. The best way I can say it is that it comes down to quality of life. Grieving is one thing, but when you completely stop living, that indicates a bigger problem.
Depression is a real concern for those who have lost a spouse. You said you spoke briefly to a grief counsellor, but I strongly encourage you to go back and keep seeing her. I also think you would benefit from a bereavement support group, so that you can talk openly about your feelings with others in the same situation. That in itself may help you get back into social activities, even if it is slowly. Go at your own pace. It is great that you have the support of family, but sometimes they may not understand your particular grieving process, or may be tied up in their own grief. Nonetheless, use the support you have from family and friends as a stepping stone. I encourage you to speak to your family doctor about how you are feeling. Another excellent resource for you to contact would be your branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association. They may know of more appropriate bereavement groups available (specifically for widows), and can help with grief/bereavement counselling as well. Please follow up with at least a few of the suggestions I have given, and let me know how you are doing.